Theodor
by Azordep
Summary: When tragedy stikes New Directions, the club is forced to hang up their microphones.  Kurt, with no one to talk to, finds his old teddy bear and remembers how he used to talk to him.  He never said anything and always listened...  Rated T for language.
1. Prologue

**Theodor**  
_**By: Azordep**_

**AN: The idea for this story came randomly into my head. I'm not sure if I'll continue, it depends on the response of the readers. The main focus is Kurt Hummel in all his glory. This is sort of the prologue, I guess. I'll post the first chapter too at some point, just in case you want to know what happens next. Anyways, enjoy, **_**Theodor.**_

_**Rated T for language and mature content. Don't kill me for writing what I am going to now.**_

_**Prologue**_

Kurt stared at the little teddy bear that sat on his bed, motionless. A little woven smile shined back at him, making him grin.

"At least you still smile." He whispered, almost crying. He sat down next to it and crossed his arms. "Nobody seems to smile in glee club anymore. Not since..." he convinced himself to not say anything. "I shouldn't tell you, Theodor. You would be heartbroken." He licked his lips. "Why am I talking to you? You're a stuffed bear! I haven't spoken to you in nine years!" He sighed. "I'm sorry, Theodor. It's just, the past few weeks have been hard for me, and I don't have anyone to talk to. Dad's gone off with Finn's mom on a trip, and nobody's answering their phones," Kurt admitted. "Then I remembered all the times I talked to you when I was sad and I thought, 'Hey, if he listened to me then, he'll listen to me now!'"

The bear was quiet.

"Theodor, I don't want to go back to school on Monday, none of us will have anything to go back to..." Kurt began to cry. "All I had in my life is gone...without glee club, what am I? I'm just a faggy, gay teenage boy with no direction! I have no direction without New Directions." He got to his knees. "The glee kids are devastated. You wouldn't quite understand, Theodor." He began to stroke the bear's worn head. "I still can't believe that this has happened."

He wiped the water from his eyes and sucked up further tears. "Theodor, you wouldn't mind sleeping with me tonight, would you?"

The bear sat motionless.

"I knew you wouldn't." He smiled and took the bear as he took off the white covers from his bed and gently flowed into the soft cushion and put the covers back on him. He hugged the bear tightly.

He sniffed. "This is about the time mom kissed me goodnight and turned off the lights." He said, ignored the light as he dozed off to sleep, clutching the bear.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Thank you SO much for the comments, guys! I really appreciate it :) This chapter answers most of the hanging questions - but there isn't a whole lot of the bear. I worked hard to try and capture the personalities of the characters, while keeping them somber and upset. The scene between Mercedes and Kurt was really hard to write (even though it wasn't that long) but I'm pretty satisfied with it :)**

**Oh, and I'm not gonna say what the quote is in the beginning. If you think you know what song it is and who its by, comment and if you are the first to get it right, you might get a mention in chapter two :D**

_**-Azordep-**_

_**Chapter One**_

"_**And the tears come streaming down your face...when you lose something you can't replace...when you love someone but it goes to waste...could it be worse? Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you."**_

Through the small window light began to creep through, hitting Kurt's eyes like a lazer of light. The small, teenage boy crawled out of his bed and stretched. He turned and noticed the bear that sat on the bed. Theodor. He had forgotten that he had spoken to him last night. He picked up the tattered bear and smiled. He missed talking to the bear. Kurt set it down and walked over to his mirror to get ready for the school day.

He played with his eye make-up remover. "Any other Monday and I would be happy to get ready for school," he grunted. "Not today."

He took a baby wipe and drug it down his face. He looked to Theodor in the mirror, who was on its side but didn't seem to mind.

"No glee club today," he restated like last night. "Guess it's back to being an outcast." Realization came over him. "Oh, wait. I was an outcast when I was in glee as well." He shrugged. "At least I felt like I belonged somewhere in glee." His face grew even gloomier. "Oh, and I guess there's no Spanish class either." He sneered. "I'll have to take french." He looked to his reflection. "I hate french people."

-ooo-

The school hallways were a perfect reflection of how Kurt had been feeling - sad and depressed. People were crying all over the place and there was absolutely no laughter. Except for the goth kids - they always seemed to be happy when everyone else wasn't.

"Hello, Kurt." Emma murmured when she bumped into him. She eyeliner was running badly and tears were still streaming down her face.

"Miss P." He replied. "How have you been?"

She shrugged. "Alright, I guess. It' been really hard trying to get through my head that he's actually gone. The truck was just going so fast..." She started weeping. "Will Schuster was such a great man!"

"I know. I miss him too." Kurt looked down at his feet, trying to avoid eye-contact with her. "I'm really sorry about it." He thought a moment. "But...I though you were dating that dentist?"

"Yeah, but, I always l...lo...LOVED HIM!" She couldn't contained her tears. "WILL!" She dashed off and didn't wait for Kurt to say anything else.

"Poor Emma..." Mercedes said, walking up to Kurt. "How've you been?"

"I should ask the same thing." Kurt said, frowning. "You haven't answered your phone once since the car accident!" Kurt said it louder than he had planned, making several people look at them.

Mercedes sounded annoyed. "Well, maybe it's just been hard for some of us to move on and get on with our-"

"You think it's easy for me?" Kurt interrupted, coming close to tears. "I have nothing without glee!"

Mercedes rolled her eyes. "Please, you have Cheer-ios, Football-"

"SHUT UP, OKAY!" Kurt threw his backpack onto the ground. "You think it's that simple? You think it's fricken simple?" His eyes drilled daggers into hers. "I can't imagine not going into the choir room everyday, singing songs and enjoying being with the people I love! I felt amazing, like I was flying, like...like there was, _electricity_!"

Mercedes stared at him. "You've changed, Kurt. Did Mr. Shu have some affect on you? Why is this so hard on you?"

"_I already told you." _He snapped, grabbing her shirt. His voice was in a sharp whisper. "_When your only friend is your stuffed bear, you change. Our lives will never go back to how they were unless we can find a way to make it okay. We can make it okay. We can."_

"I want to believe you, Kurt. I really do. But there's just no reason to try. Will motivated us for everything. He was like a second parent."

"You don't need to remind me that...he's..."

Mercedes crossed her arms. "Spit it out. He's...he's..."

Kurt pushed into Mercedes's arms and began to cry. He voice was muffled, but everyone down the hallway could hear his cry of: "HE'S DEAD, MERCEDES! HE'S DEAD!"

-ooo-

Lunch was quiet. Rachel was really the only one talking - about who they could hire as the new glee club director, but nobody seemed interested. Artie gave Kurt his chocolate cupcake, because for some reason, Artie didn't seem very hungry. Kurt wasn't either.

The cupcake ended up in the trash.

"Rachel, face it, nobody's going to want to go back to glee after the accident." Finn said, taking the cupcake out of the trash and unwrapping it. "Damn, the frosting is all messed up," he mumbled to himself.

"I am aware of that, Finn. But I think if we get a sensational glee club director, just maybe they'll want to come back - maybe even more people!"

"I know I'm not coming back." Artie said quietly. "Its just not worth it."

"I for one am totally up for going back." Rachel protested. "You guys are not contemplating what possibilities glee has given us."

"Yeah," Quinn started, "but, Mr. Shu always motivated us to do those things. He was the rock of our foundation."

"GUYS!" Rachel yelled. "We don't have to give up, we can find a new director for New Directions and move on! Don't you think Mr. Schuester would want that?"

Finn smirked slightly. "He'd probably want us to sing about it." He said with a chuckle.

They all looked at each other, silent.

Kurt sighed. "It hurts too much to sing."

"You guys make me sick. We don't have to mope all this time we can...we can..." Rachel sat down, speechless. "We can...I don't have a clue what we could do."

Tina began to cry.

Puck appeared out of Kurt's view - he was walking up to them, he looked like he'd been crying, but he did a good job of covering it up.

"Hey." His voice was quiet, it was lacking that badass tone to it.

"Hi, Puck." They said, paying extreme attention to their food.

"It sucks, doesn't it?"

"Yeah." Kurt crossed his legs. "It does." He said it in a rather, "DUH" way.

He stroked his head once. "I just wanted to see how you guys were doing."

"We're fine." Quinn said. She got up. "Why don't I walk with you?"

She left with him.

Artie played with his mashed potatoes. "Maybe I should start a wheelchair club."

Tine shook her head. "Maybe a, 'we love Mr. Shu' club?"

the rest of lunch time was spent crying and ignoring people who stared. They didn't care.

They couldn't care anymore.


End file.
